and hello again after a year of silence.

think happy thoughts.

Today I spent a good amount of time in the hospital with my dear friend Lacey.  She had heart surgery and obviously needed my company during her recovery.  She is pretty much a titan (in the awesome almost indestructible kind of way) and even managed to scarf down some of her favorite chicken nuggets.  Are you starting to understand why I love her so much?  I am so blessed to be surrounded by such rock solid people.  who love chicken nuggets.

you're not bald... you're just taller than your hair.

Tomorrow is the last day of class, marking the end of my first year at Butler. I am still waiting for the events of the year to really sink in, and I think that will happen once finals are over. This year has been, for lack of a better term, a roller-coaster. I had such a great first semester, and I had very high hopes for the second. It was a good one, but I was not prepared for the amount of work and stress that would have to be put into it. I did my first opera ever... that was an experience. I still have not decided if I will want to do only a couple more, or many many more in my future. My class list was small but mighty and that paired with a longing to graduate did not prove to be productive. I am hopeful that this past semester will be the only one of its kind I have to endure. I know that even though next year I have a heavier load, I am more settled and things will go smoothly. Though this year was hard, I know that I did a lot of growing. I am one step closer to being a real person, and I at least have a better grasp on what I want to do when I am done with school.

I am very excited for this upcoming summer, and all that is promises. I will say that I think it will be weird living in Indy for the summer. I have always gone "home" over the summer. Wherever home was at the time anyways, and this year I will stay where I am. Indy is not far, but it is still so weird that everyone is so spread out. In June I will be venturing to Italy for a 5 week Opera Program called La Musica Lirica. The thought of my summer travels really kept my head up during these last couple of weeks. I am so excited to learn and experience great places.

I know that hard work is something that everyone who wants to be successful has to endure. I understand that and I accept that now. Some days it is easier than others. On those "other" days it is hard. In those low moments I have all the normal questions going through my brain... is it worth it, am I wasting my time, should I just choose something else and then there is always something that brings me right back to the reason I am doing it. I do love music, but a love for music does not prepare you for the feelings you get when music becomes your homework. I know it wont always be like this, but that does not mean it isn't hard right now.

Dear Optimism. I'm doing my best to hold on to you.

This guy is 15 today.

my little brother is not so little anymore.

Happy Birthday little brother.

Ice Ice Baby

Butler was closed today... and has already been closed for tomorrow. I love storms.

I also love drinking hot cocoa out of my cute mug with a spoon...

Today has been a great day for cleaning, especially since I am stuck here for at least the next 24 hours. I have lots of floor to clean and lots of Grey's Anatomy.

I love storms.

Unfortunately...

I am struggling. I am struggling to deal with a love affair.

must all my problems be linked to food? apparently yes, they must :-)

Winter break is coming to a close, and I could not be more happy. It is not that I have run out of exciting things to do; there is always something I can find. It is that I get so anxious towards the end of any break, and I find myself sitting about waiting for the end. It is a silly waste of time. Today I did my best to be productive. I gave cooper a bath, precooked several items for the next few days, and I even went over music for the Opera. That took up like 3 hours of my day. I have absolutely no idea how I managed to waste the other 10 hours of my day. I pretty much spent it grazing and slothing around. Slothing is not a word, but I think you know what I mean.

Tomorrow I will be cleaning my floors, and I am not looking forward the the process or the smell. You see I chose my apartment pretty much because I was in love with the hardwood floors. I did not, however, think through the upkeep that I would be taking on. The floors are waxed, and can only be cleaned with water and vinegar. Sick. That is what I get for giving importance to things that are unnecessary. Is it worth the lovely smoke smell and the crazy lady that constantly yells at her husband(at least im assuming) Chris? Nothing that a little music and candles cant get rid of. Im sticking with pretty floors=happy lady.

I had the privilege of meeting several new friends this last semester at Butler. One of them, Ben Bernthal, is in a band called the accordions, and I cannot get over this video of them. This video gives you a glimpse of some of their sweet instruments. My favorite part is the guy (I believe his name is Kip :-) ) playing the saw... yes, he is bowing a saw. It makes the coolest sound.

You can find the band here

also... my christmas tree is still up. You would think I could spend my time taking that down. That'll be tomorrow as well.

Today I was so happy to be reminded that there are still good people out there...

I was on my way home to Indy and I needed to stop and get gas. I chose the same pump that I always go to at any gas station, creature of habit, and this was a mistake. I swiped my card, and the pump ended up being broken. I went inside to let them know, and to make sure I would not be paying for someone else's gas later. After this my card would not work because they had already put the hold on my account and I was not able to get gas. I have this terrible habit of running my gas tank to Empty, and beyond empty. I know it is bad for my car, no need to remind me. Anyways, I was stuck at the gas station. I called the bank and they told me I had to deliver a letterhead from BP stating all this information in order for the money to be credited back. With this process I would have to wait 2 business days, so I wouldnt get it till monday. Lovely. I decided to wait until BP processed their transactions which, the manager assured me, would be tonight. I went out to my car, and was starting to make a call to have someone rescue me, when I look and see the manager standing at my window. She smiled and said that she was coming to put gas in my car. I was not too keen on this idea, and tried to convince her that I would be fine. She was very persistent and told a story of herself in the same situation. She said that a woman helped her out, and it was her turn.

I have never actually had someone pay it forward, to me, did that make sense? So Kelly, thank you for saving me, even though it was my fault I was stuck. I will never forget that.