Tomorrow is the last day of class, marking the end of my first year at Butler. I am still waiting for the events of the year to really sink in, and I think that will happen once finals are over. This year has been, for lack of a better term, a roller-coaster. I had such a great first semester, and I had very high hopes for the second. It was a good one, but I was not prepared for the amount of work and stress that would have to be put into it. I did my first opera ever... that was an experience. I still have not decided if I will want to do only a couple more, or many many more in my future. My class list was small but mighty and that paired with a longing to graduate did not prove to be productive. I am hopeful that this past semester will be the only one of its kind I have to endure. I know that even though next year I have a heavier load, I am more settled and things will go smoothly. Though this year was hard, I know that I did a lot of growing. I am one step closer to being a real person, and I at least have a better grasp on what I want to do when I am done with school.
I am very excited for this upcoming summer, and all that is promises. I will say that I think it will be weird living in Indy for the summer. I have always gone "home" over the summer. Wherever home was at the time anyways, and this year I will stay where I am. Indy is not far, but it is still so weird that everyone is so spread out. In June I will be venturing to Italy for a 5 week Opera Program called La Musica Lirica. The thought of my summer travels really kept my head up during these last couple of weeks. I am so excited to learn and experience great places.
I know that hard work is something that everyone who wants to be successful has to endure. I understand that and I accept that now. Some days it is easier than others. On those "other" days it is hard. In those low moments I have all the normal questions going through my brain... is it worth it, am I wasting my time, should I just choose something else and then there is always something that brings me right back to the reason I am doing it. I do love music, but a love for music does not prepare you for the feelings you get when music becomes your homework. I know it wont always be like this, but that does not mean it isn't hard right now.
Dear Optimism. I'm doing my best to hold on to you.
